In the first post in a few months, as well as of its kind! I bring you the weekly music nod. It’s simple, real simple. If it’s in constant rotation on my iPod, you should probably check it out. I’ll try to keep the selections current.

This week: Doomtrees Gayngs remix EP Affiliyated.

First and foremost, you should probably check out Gayngs 2010 debut album Relayted. I’ll let you be the judge of that album for yourselves, but it’s definitely worth a spin before checking out Doomtress remix EP. Also, the EP is available as a free download via various music blogs and websites. So there, technically you got two albums this week. Not bad for the first nod.

Affiliyated tracklist:
1. Fight, Fuck, Fall Asleep (Cecil Otter Regrind ft. Sims)
2. Coercion Van (MK Larada Regrind)
3. Cologne & Water (Paper Tiger Regrind)
4. Draper Drunk (Plain ole Bill Regrind ft Mike Mictlan and Chocolate Ox)
5. No Scrubs (P.O.S Regrind)
6. Sprinkle Juice (Lazerbeak Regrind)
7. Sand In The Lotion (Cecil Otter Regrind)

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Well, not really new, but probably unknown to most.

Cults

“Open your mouth.” Looking up I see her take a quick swig from the half gone cigarette in her hand and pucker her lips at me. I open my mouth and look away trying not to catch her gaze in our exchange of smoke. We are surrounded by thousands of people, yet I feel like we’re the only ones here planted firmly on the grass drinking beers and smoking cigarettes.

Roger Waters sings the first few words to ‘Breathe’ and as they travel through the air my mouth is filled with the bitter taste of cigarette smoke while the earlier installments of alcohol wash through my brain. This is not a good situation. It was, but it may not be anymore.

“Open it again.” I do and this time I catch the reflection of the sunset and smoke off her sunglasses as it attempts to float into my mouth and down to my lungs. I suppose this instance could be poetic, but I am too drunk and concerned with the proximity of our lips to care.

I’ve never been good at these things. My attempts at courting women are like circus clowns trying to get a job at Citibank. What is to become of us after this weekend? I think to myself, but quickly lose my focus in the haze of intoxication. There are moments in our lives that you wish you could relive any time you are faced with the harshness of the often heartbreaking world, this is one of them and facing the world was exactly what I’d be doing in less than 24 hours.

“Don’t you know second hand smoke kills?” cries my friend who is watching us. Thanks Mr Point out the obvious. A note, nothing ruins a moment more than questioning the mortal effects of it.

Everything leading up to this weekend would suggest I should be getting somewhere with this girl, but everything thats transpired says fuck no, you’re not. I drink to the cruces of courtship as the sun sets behind me taking with it all our missed opportunities.

I need another beer.

I watch her pollute the air with cigarette smoke for a bit until finally she looks over at me and says “I’m really drunk” and I’m suddenly speechless. These are the moments, though fleeting as they are I’ve been living for every weekend in the last few weeks and suddenly I have no idea what say or do.

She says “don’t tell anyone what I told you” I reflect on the secrets she shared and wonder who I am to know these things? and who will I be once the weekend ends?

May 2008.

Tonight I signed up for match.com. Soon I’ll be flirting away with thousands of singles from in and around Los Angeles. Typically I wouldn’t do something like this, but I’ve spent too much time dwelling on the past and maybe it’s time to move on.

The site for all intent and purpose is well organized and simple to navigate. The first thing you see is the option to search, which is effective for all the skeptics. The premise is that if you see someone interesting you may join (worked for me) and more importantly buy a subscription – which is exactly what I am doing. I took up the task of setting up my profile and uploading some pictures. Let’s start with the process of setting up my profile. First you answer some questions from a visualization test that I’ve yet to divulge a purpose for taking other than maybe identifying who the customers of the site are and their various backgrounds. I can’t help but think that the visual questionnaire is more of a sales tactic than one of any real purpose in my use of their site to meet someone. Questions asked are what body type I prefer, what I notice first in a woman, what I’d like to see them order at a bar, what my date and I would do for fun and one about what types of movies I enjoy. Keep in mind each questions answers are represented in pictures. Someone must have told match.com that people respond well to visual stimulus and not words. The survey itself claims to help them select what types of people you’ll be interested in and vice-versa, but once you get to the part where you actually fill out your profile and the sites first suggested matches, you’ll realize that is determined by your answers to the questions that will create your match.com profile and not the 5 minutes you spent picking out high quality pictures to answer the same questions you’re being asked again. Still, it’s a brilliant sales tactic. After taking the visual survey you’d be hard pressed not to explore the site more and match.com makes it clear that you can’t explore as a stranger. Back to my profile, so far they’ve taken out the awkwardness of having to describe ones self in words by turning the task into a simple Q & A session and placing character limits on the only time you write anything at all about yourself in your own words. I learned later that this automates the process of matching you up, no science, just conformity here folks.

The part I found most interesting is the final piece where you’re asked to choose a headline for your profile. A chance to say something that grabs attention and will get you noticed…I got nothing. I think how about “Hi, let’s meet for coffee?” but what if she hates coffee and prefers tea? I’ve already lost dates if my matches dislike caffeine, and I haven’t even uploaded photos yet. Snap out of it, this is exactly why you’re here, proceed…

ANYWAY, after my quasi-interview I get to answer questions about my preferences in a potential date. Albeit, this time without photos. If you thought the world was vain enough wait until you realize these questions have everything to do with appearances and not personality, with the exception of the religion question. Now, to be fair, science tells us that we’re programmed to base our dating choices off first impressions and it’s true. If you aren’t visually appealing you won’t get far in the dating world, especially the online dating world. So now that I’ve picked her preferred body type, hair style(s), eye color, religious views, and workout schedule It’s time to upload some photos. I initially thought that I should seek outside counsel in selecting photos to upload, but I went with my gut and uploaded 3 descent (by my standards of course) photos. Nothing fancy, no self portraits or shirtless bathroom mirror photos. After all, this is going to be seen by other people on the internet, you gotta keep it classy online, right?

To my surprise, there’s a profile and photo approval process at match.com and it may take up to 24 hours for my profile to appear on their site. All of the profile and photo submissions must be reviewed by a real person. This makes sense, there’s enough subscription porn on the internet as it is. Goodnight single ladies.