I was watching Survivorman on the Discovery channel the other night and for some reason I can’t stand how everything always seems to work out in his favor. Now there are a few things that don’t, such as weather conditions(although this is also probably pre-determined to an extent.) Anyway, I watch this show for two reasons, both of which are arguably ridiculous.

Reason 1:
I want something to happen that isn’t planned out.

Something crazy like an Avalanche, head hunting natives, jellyfish, a blood thirsty pack of wolves, a bear trap, etc. However, my favorite idea would be the introduction of a villain. Batman had tons, Superman and Spiderman also managed to attract their own plethora of evildoers why can’t Survivorman have an arch-enemy? It would make for an interesting dynamic and allow for plenty of “to be continued” episodes, ratings would skyrocket. Anything that would actually cause me to believe for a slight moment that Survivormans overall “survival ” may be in question. You cannot be a “noun/adjective”-Man without the fundamental elements that come along with such a connotation. For the most part they illustrate his talents by allowing him to have trouble using them i.e; starting a fire, coming relatively close to a possibly dangerous animal or being helplessly lost wherever he may be, and although this makes for a great hour of general survival instruction, it doesn’t make me believe that he is really Thee Survivorman. I think in reality they should depict the true nature of survival. No one who ends up in the situations Les Stroud(host) falls into on the show would have any idea how to survive them to the extent of his abilities. It’s wholly unreasonable to say he’s surviving anything at all.

Reason 2:
This is probably the bigger reason for why I watch the show. I want to be prepared.

For what? I’m not sure, my eventual trip to the Amazon? the next ice age perhaps? the sinking of my tour boat on my next visit to the Bay? Anything could happen on next years trip to Vegas, those are miles upon miles of desert. I like watching this show for no reason other then that of my own perpetual survival. If they created a show on how to navigate your way around the moons surface in the event your astronaut convoy is lost, I’d embrace it with open arms because of it’s relevance to my eventual trip to the moon. So now my sole existence relies heavily on my ability to apply my television curriculum to my seemingly adventurous life-which I do not have, live, or would even attempt. I loathe nature. There is absolutely nothing about my physique that screams “fit.” In fact, I purposely keep it this way through various practices and being that survival is based entirely upon this three letter adjective, I can safely say my knowledge of indigenous plants and animals will not get me past day 3. It’s possible I’d go mad.

So why do I watch this show? I wouldn’t place myself anywhere near any of these situations or have the slightest interest in doing so. I don’t even go to the park, why do I need to acquire such knowledge? I’m not sure but until the wonderful day they decide to air Survivorman: Compton, I’ll keep watching.