I want to share my post-raving experience with everyone because it’s too good to not share. If you are not interested in the events leading up to sometime after 5am skip to the timeline. Some of you may know that I went to a little event in San Bernardino called Mardi Gras Maquerade 4…it was more like Mardi Gras Madness.

Mike, Jimbo “bullet hole” Rodriguez, Rafa and me arrived in the 909 at around 9(coincidence?…). After checking into our hotel room we waited 2 and a ½ hours to get in because procrastination kicked in and we didn’t buy tickets on time. During this time several gay jokes were made at Mikes expense.

I was sober when I walked in, but immediately felt like my eyes may be on drugs. It looked more or less like something out of Batman Forever. I was half expecting The Riddler to come out from around a corner and wack me with his riddler stick. I do not have any pictures of this area. You’ll have to go and see this place for yourself.

We walked around a bit and I decided it was time to break in our VIP wristbands and hit the open vodka bar. Rafa and myself hit the bar…and it hit me back harder.

I was quite drunk by maybe 1am. I had lost Jimbo, Rafa and Mike, but when we were reunited they assured me they had a great time.

I made some friends and was offered a plethora of pills, strips, smokes, and snorts….all of which I turned down. HUGS NOT DRUGS!!! Anyway, people kept coming up to me and asking if I was rolling…my reply was “with 3 other people why?” I fear I may never understand rave culture and I’ve been to a few already…

Rafa was learning the mystic art of glow stickery and could not be bothered so Jimbo and I went to check out the main room and left Mike on the floor in another room.

From the looks of it my camera may have been on some serious drugs.

I came to realize by 3am that my drunken state had turned into a state of awareness beyond measure due to the fact I consumed(within 1 hour.) 7(seven) Vodka and Monster energy drinks. I was no longer drunk, but wide awake and ready to take the SAT 5 times in a row.

The house lights came on and we walked out. It was raining in the 909 at 5am, but the hotel was two blocks away and I wanted nothing more then to sleep.

Little did I know this would not happen. Instead of me sleeping the following occurred:

5:20am. I toss myself on a bed and Jimbo takes bed 2 while Rafa and Mike decide to “go get food, look for bitches” and continue the glow stick light show.

5:25am. I realize I cannot sleep due to the amount of energy drinks I have consumed. My eyes are now indefinetly open wider than Paris Hilton laying in front of the all 5 members of The Backstreet Boys.

5:30am. Jimbo is snoring as if two baboons are caught in his nostrils.

5:45am Mike and Rafa return bitchless, but with Carls Jr and…Starbucks???

5:47am. I refuse to get up and mingle with people outside the room.

6:00am. Still awake

6:10am Rafa and Mike return to the room and Rafa proceeds to remove his shoelaces to use with his new glowsticks(picture a nunchuck wielding ninja.)

6:15am. I am in and out of sleep while Mike and Rafa are creating another glowstick lighshow in the center of the room.

6:16am. I begin to hear break beats and thumpin’ bass…Mike has pulled out his iphone which has several hours worth of house, trance, happy hardcore and techno….the light show continues, with a soundtrack courtesy of iphone speakers.

6:20am The sun is coming through the blinds making the now full on 2 man mini rave difficult. Mike and Rafa reloacte to the bathroom where it is darker.

6:35am. I am still awake and Jimbo is still snoring except now I can hear electronica coming from the bathroom along with several “dude, that was cool.” and “let me see the glowsticks!”

7:00am. I am still awake, Jimbo is still snoring and you guessed it the bathroom rave is still raging.

7:20am. Rafa and Mike emerge from the bathrroom to continue the mini rave at the center of the room again. I hear talks of going and buying speakers for the iphone….

7:30am. Rafa and Mike are showing me what they can do with glowsticks and shoelaces. I want to choke them both.

7:35am. The minirave is relocated to the bathroom again. For the next hour the mini rave continues while I am in and out of sleep. I can hear the glowsticks hitting the bathroom walls…

8:40am. Mini rave is relocated to the bedroom and Rafa accidentally smacks my legs with glowsticks twice.

9:05 Mini rave is over, due to Mikes iphone running out of music. Mike has now taken up sleeping space on the floor and Rafa continues the light show with me tapping on the bed for a bass effect….I cannot sleep.

10:00am. All is quiet…

10:18am. Billy Madison is on HBO.

12noon. We check out.

The moral of the story could be don’t do drugs and if your friends do, stay in another room, but it is not. The moral of the story is dream kids, dream big, dream creatively. I witnessed a party be held for over 3 hours with 2 glowsticks, shoelaces and an iphone. Don’t tell me I will never amount to anything because anything is possible.