Have you ever gotten the impression that you could find anything for sale online? Have you ever felt we should just cut out the middle man and make just about anything available at Costco? Since they sell everything else to begin with.

I was at Costco the other night when I noticed an odd little display by the eyeglasses. I walked over to confirm if my eyes were indeed seeing what I thought they were and yes, they were. I was now standing before Costco’s generous coffin display. There was an employee next to me and I asked her the obvious question of whether coffins are sold by the pair or family pack, being that Costco is a “wholesale” store. She simply replied with “no I don’t see why they’d be sold like that” I thought to myself “maybe because there’s a big sign outside that says ‘Costco..Wholesale!?” I decided not to mention that to her as I’m sure it’s a confusing concept.

Yes, it seems these days you can get almost anything with a Costco membership. I for one bought quite the ridiculously sized bucket of Peanut Butter just the other night.

So here I am standing in awe at the fact that there’s actually coffins on display at Costco. It was actually a little disturbing for a little while until I realized it made perfect sense and Costco may be on to something. These days the death rate is so high, I mean statistically it’s what? 10 out of every 10 people die. While only 4 out of 10 are buying computers at Costco, it’s ingenious. With their success at stealing business from grocery stores it’s only a matter of time before funeral homes nationwide bow down to Costcos hostile takeover of the funeral market.

Getting home that night I checked the Costco website Costco.com and found they have a “Funeral” section, please note the upper left hand corner.

I started poking around the site and found a very interesting Funeral FAQ section. Below are my favorite parts:

Q: Why is Costco Wholesale selling caskets?
As a service to our members.

I read this and I can’t help but think the real answer is “Death, everyone does it.”

This next part comes after a few sentences about how a credit card hold or decline may delay your caskets delivery.

Additionally, Acts of God, weather-related conditions and states of emergencies can delay delivery beyond the stated delivery parameters.

Yep, that’s right god himself may just intervene one more time and screw up your plans.

For some reason I also checked the site to see if they sold sporting rifles as this would make for an interesting purchase dynamic. Guy walks up to pay with a rifle and a coffin selection or he orders both online at the same time. Luckily they don’t sell rifles, they do however sell knives.

There you have it folks, Costco caters to normal people and serial killers alike. Retail marketing genius at it’s best.